"Stuttering less" is a bad measure

Ironically, the most common measure, which is to stutter less, is the wrong one.

You see, it's so straightforward and logical that we typically don't question it. Like, of course, I want to stutter less! What do you mean it's the wrong measure?

Well, we all know that the easiest way to stutter less is just to speak less. But the more you avoid speaking, the more fear, tension, and anxiety you associate with speaking and social interactions. The more you escape speaking, the bigger and stronger your stuttering becomes.

It may not show on the outside, but it grows stronger internally. So, this is not a good way to measure progress, and it’s not the way to create progress. It's not about stuttering less; it's something else.

And it's very important to understand this 'something else.' If you're not clear about what progress is and how to measure it, you might find yourself in a situation where you're doing something, maybe even putting in a lot of effort, but you're just rambling in circles with no real progress. So, it's critical to identify progress properly.

Check how you feel

My answer is that the way to measure progress is actually by how you feel at the moment of speaking and social interactions. Especially in new environments, when you introduce yourself, when you need to reveal yourself as a person who stutters or however you identify yourself. The way you reveal yourself is the key moment where you can define, check, and measure whether you're making progress or not.

Would you agree with that or disagree? I'd love to have your feedback so that we could have a conversation on this in the comments.

So, how do you feel at that point? By “how you feel,” I mean, do you feel tension? Do you feel anxiety? Do you feel present at that moment? I understand that with stuttering, we might revert to the same emotional state where it feels like we're articulating words, but it's kind of not us—we kind of lose control over ourselves and observe from the outside.

That emotional state is how we can identify progress. That's what we can improve if you're looking to make progress and improve anything with regards to stuttering.

So, the next question is, how do you change that emotional state? How do you change how you feel?

Measure your social and speaking activity

My answer is that you want to be looking for activities - activity in general, of course, but particularly speaking activity.

And very specifically, your speaking activity where you choose to speak even though you don't have to!

There’s always an option to raise your hand or not raise your hand, to go there or not go there, to speak or not speak, to start a conversation or not start a conversation, to continue the conversation or to say, “Oh, I need to go,” or “I don’t know.” There is always a path of activity vs a path of escaping that activity, especially speaking experiences.

Now, of course, I understand that it’s hard to seek out speaking activities and create speaking experiences when you stutter. It might be difficult even to imagine that.

But I want to mention Cameron Raynes and his interview, where he shared a perspective that helped him make tremendous progress with stuttering.

In particular, he decided to redefine what makes a 'good' or 'bad' day. He thought, what if a good day isn’t the day where I stutter less, but rather a day where I stutter more?

Wow.

Training speech

I understand it’s a radically new perspective. I know that it’s hard to picture. But I want you to think about it because the more we escape stuttering and speaking, the more there’s no way to improve.

So, we need to get ourselves into this action mode somehow. One of the ways how to do it (I believe it's the easiest and the most efficient way) is to start learning and implementing what I call 'training speech.'

We typically refer to it as 'stuttering techniques,' but I don't see it as a trick to escape or control stuttering better. Instead, it can be a way to restore the natural structure of your speech.

I use and teach the hand stuttering technique (again, a 'technique'), but it’s not quite a technique - it's a tool that helps connect the brain with the speech mechanism. It creates alignment on a very tangible, physical level. It helps us bring to our speaking whatever is missing, making it more relaxed, effortless, assertive, and expressive.

Instead of trying to stutter less, it can become a way to be more open, active, and positive about speaking and social interactions. It can also be a path of acceptance where you learn to speak on your terms, truly enjoy speaking, presenting, and engaging in social interactions, and simply be YOU. 😊