STEP #1: Check Your Goal

If your goal is to stop stuttering (probably a common one), it’s not a good one. You see, escaping stuttering, avoidance, panic reaction to a glitch, physical and emotional tension, anxiety - that’s what we actually want to change.

As long as your goal is framed as how to stop, get rid of, or reduce, it’s still reactive. You’re still staying in the land of stuttering. And even if you’re putting in a lot of effort, it might feel like you’re just running in circles around the same spot.

Breaking out of that cycle starts with rethinking your goal. Instead of focusing on how not to do something, shift your focus to how to do something. Instead of thinking about what you want to avoid, start thinking about what you want to achieve.

Take a couple of minutes to write it down—and let me know! Leave a comment, and I’d be happy to give my feedback!

STEP #2: Embrace Learning Again

Stuttering feels mysterious because it seems like there’s nothing to learn. I can pronounce every sound. I can say anything, but… sometimes I can’t. It feels weird and strange to think about learning to speak when, technically, I know I can speak.

What should we learn then? Breathing? The right way to breathe? Calming down? The right way to calm down?

Let me ask you a question: Can you speak on your terms?

If your answer is yes, you don’t need the other steps. But if your answer is no, imagine how it would feel if you could. I can tell you how it would feel if you could speak on your terms:

✅ Your breathing follows naturally. No need to think about it.
✅ Anxiety and tension fade away. No need to think about calming down.
✅ Stuttering itself stops being an issue. No need to analyze how to react to a block.

So, can I learn to stop stuttering? No, because there’s no such skill. But can I learn to speak on my terms? Yes! Absolutely. And that’s a powerful choice.

STEP #3: Feel the Rhythmical Structure

People who stutter can, in principle, say every word, every sound—but the rhythm of speech, the rhythmical structure of speech is distorted. We can assume that there’s a neurological predisposition affecting how we hear our own speech, creating a mismatch in the constant loop of speaking and adjusting to the sound of our own voice.

The hand technique that I’ve been using myself as a person who stutters, and that I teach my students solves this rhythmical problem, first of all. I talk about it a lot, yet I still hear: “Oh, I get it! It’s tapping!” or “Oh, it’s using gestures! That’s awesome!”

No—it’s not tapping. It’s not gestures. It’s about synchronizing speech with pressing your fingers on your thigh.

At first, it’s one finger per syllable. But then, we gradually shift to a natural pace, using fingers only for stressed syllables. This simple method realigns your brain and speech mechanism, restoring the natural rhythmical structure of your speech.

STEP #4: Learn to Relax

I always say that the hand technique isn’t quite a technique—it’s not about avoiding stuttering, but rather a foundation (you want to see it as a foundation) for speaking on your terms. Let’s call it training speech. And the training speech starts with the first sound. How you get to the first vowel sound in your phrase. Whether it’s already a block, tension, difficulty or not.

With the hand technique, the first sound becomes an anchor for a confident, calming, but assertive start. Let's do an exercise: say “I think you’re right” and “Excuse me” starting with tension and relaxing as you press on the thumb and get to the first vowel sound. I refer to this as the balloon exercise—feeling the shift from tension to relaxation.

As an exercise, we also want to train our brain and body to feel how to relax (get heavy, stay present to the sound) not just on the thumb with the first sound, but on any finger. We’re not trying to "get through it" or bypass it. Instead, we want to be fully present in each and every sound.

So, as you use the hand technique, you don’t need to specifically calm down before speaking; speaking itself becomes the source of relaxation.

STEP #5: Feel the Connections

So, the first fundamental of the training speech is the first sound. You feel how you effortlessly start the airflow and it’s relaxing and assertive. The second fundamental of the training speech is feeling that airflow in a phrase from start to finish. And again, the hand technique helps us do that.

For example, you want to say “I think Steven is right” and maybe “s” in “Steven” feels like a hard sound. You stop the airflow after “think”. Or “My name is Mike” and you stop the airflow after “is”. That’s a broken rhythmical structure right there. And you can notice how consonants often create a certain interruption in the airflow. Instead of finishing and stopping after “I think” try to stay in the vowel sound in “think” and then connect with the next vowel sound in “Steven”. Imagine that “nk” becomes the first part of “Steven.” Feel how you connect those vowel sounds.

The hand gives us a foundation to feel how we can go in a phrase from a vowel sound to the vowel sound with a continuous airflow.

STEP #6: Learn to Express

So fundamentals of the training speech 1 and 2 are the first sound (how you start the airflow) and connections (how you feel the airflow in the phrase). Now, we need to finish the phrase, to make the point. That is splitting and expression. Fundamentals 3 and 4. That’s it. That’s the whole training speech. You start, go with the phrase, you finish, make a point and you create space for a pause.

In a block, in a stuttering moment your body tends to tense up not letting you fully express yourself. In expression (fundamental 4) you want to explore how you engage your body, gestures, and eye-contact (you talk with your whole body, not just your mouth).

As an exercise, let's say, 'I think Steven is right. But maybe we should double-check with Brian as well,' using the training speech. We want to emphasize the main point, which naturally leads to a pause.

It’s not some artificial thing, it’s not a mere prolongation, external rhythm or distracting attention. We just want to restore the structure of your natural speaking. It’s relaxing, assertive and expressive.

STEP #7: Learn to Deal with Fear

When I attended my speech therapy as a person who stutters back in the day I thought that after the intensive part of the program I would learn the hand technique, so I would learn how not to stutter.

And then they say, “Now you know how to speak using the training speech, let’s go outside, approach strangers and ask a couple questions!” And I thought, “Wait! What? No, I’m not doing it!”

You see, I thought they should teach me how not to stutter, but at that moment I vividly realized that it’s impossible as long as I’m afraid, I’m scared to death to speak to other people.

I realized that what we really want, what we really need, is to truly enjoy being in the spotlight. And if you say, “Oh, no, I’m not like that! It’s not for me.” These “I am” or “me” statements are limiting beliefs. It is a skill you can learn. It is a muscle you can develop.

One of my favorite exercises, after you’ve learned the basics of the training speech, is what I call the 'Blank Piece of Paper' exercise.

You go live in our small group or in the larger 'Free From Stutter' Facebook group. We practice in different ways and on various topics, but in a nutshell: imagine you're getting on stage, feeling the fear, anxiety, and tension. You step onto the stage, open up, smile, connect with the audience, and say, 'Hey everyone! Today I want to talk about…' You only know the topic, but you don’t know what you’re going to say next. It’s a blank piece of paper. You learn to enjoy this moment, giving yourself permission to think and connect—speaking on your terms.

STEP #8: Get Proactive

Let’s imagine a picture of a wolf chasing a rabbit. Seemingly, they do the same thing. They run. But for a rabbit, it’s pure stress, triggering a certain set of hormones, like adrenaline. For a wolf, it’s more of an excitement and a different set of hormones, like noradrenaline – a more goal-oriented hormone.

Let’s apply this analogy to our speaking. In one situation, you receive a phone call and you have to speak, you need to react and there’s panic in your eyes. In another situation, you proactively make a phone call using the training speech and recording yourself.

On the surface, you do the same thing. You speak. But it’s a different set of hormones and a different emotional state. When you do it proactively, where you don’t have to speak, but you choose to speak, when you use the training speech and you record yourself, it’s no longer an exam, it’s an exploration, it’s an experiment, it’s an exercise, it’s fun.

You’re not running away from it, you’re chasing it and it is running away from you.

The core element of stuttering is the refusal and withdrawal. Where some part of your brain refuses to cooperate. It runs away. It’s not here. Even though consciously you’re telling it, “Come on! Do it!” The opposite of that refusal is presence where you want it and you feel the excitement about speaking. Ultimately, that new emotional state during speaking and interaction - that’s what we want to develop.

STEP #9: Learn to Deal with Shame

Stuttering feels like a bad thing. So we try to hide it. And it causes tension, anxiety - exactly the emotional state we want to change.

And even if you say “I’m not ashamed of it!” Maybe even “I’m proud of it!” stuttering still doesn’t feel great, so some part of you is still in the refusal, some part of you is still ashamed of it because you’re still trying to say it “regularly, normally, fluently” - the way you can’t.

Stuttering shame has many forms and dimensions, it’s a way bigger problem than you think. I would say this is the problem we need to solve.

A great way to solve it is embracing a new identity of a person who is learning a skill of self-expression. When you’re openly using the training speech you’re not ashamed of stuttering (because the training speech itself is a representation of stuttering or stuttering / speaking on your terms) and you’re not ashamed of working on your speaking.

The training speech doesn’t make you different, it just opens up your difference, you’re not hiding it any more. You’re finally not ashamed of it. You’re simply learning to be yourself. Not pretending to be someone else.

And ironically, when you finally give yourself permission to be different, you start feeling normal and regular, but more importantly, there’s no shame and you finally start feeling great about speaking and social interaction. You are finally not afraid of it, but rather excited about it.

STEP #10: Enjoy the Journey

I hope you see by now that the training speech is not a medication. It’s not a pill to remove your pain for a while. You don’t want to just react to the pain, but rather realize what you can do so that you don’t have the pain in the first place, so that you don’t need to react to it.

In our case, we want to get to the point where there’s no reaction to a glitch. Non-stuttering people have glitches, repetitions, speech impediments in their speaking from time to time. They don’t bother, they might not even notice it. That’s a neutral reaction we want to develop. I had a glitch, I just say it again and continue.

For that, you need to learn to deal with failure. “Oh, I stuttered again! Oh, it’s not working!” And first of all, you want to realize that stuttering is not a failure. Refusal, withdrawal, inaction - that is a failure.

Your progress is not measured by how many times you stuttered. It is measured by how many speaking experiences you created proactively where you were open, active and positive about it, not trying to be someone else. It’s a skill you can learn. It’s a muscle you can develop.

It is a beautiful journey of self-exploration, growth and creating new connections. Where you’re expanding your land, breaking the limitations that stuttering brings, feeling that stuttering is no longer stopping you or holding you back in your life. That’s what I call freedom from stuttering.